I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
