don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
