im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
