Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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