I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
