my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
