There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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