I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize