"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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