I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
