I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We have started to decorate penises.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
