I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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