She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
