Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
