we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize