no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
