Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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