after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
