my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
