Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
