how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
