just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
