it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
