I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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