Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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