If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
