another moral hangover. fuck.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize