If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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