before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
