the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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