He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
