porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize