I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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