K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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