new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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