i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
