I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
