are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
