with your own penis?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
