My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you would pick up someone in the library
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
