Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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