You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
