i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
