I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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