I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
