What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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