Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize