So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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