Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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