Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
