i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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