Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
