am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
