Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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