Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You made out with two different species that night
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
God I need to hump something, right now.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize