covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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