closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
