sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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