No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When are your genitals available?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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