she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
