I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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