He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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