so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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