addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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